Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
