brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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