Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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