I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
