I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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