Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
