i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
