He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
