so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
