shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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