3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
