Already got asked if we're dating
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
