my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
