if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
