Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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