and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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