I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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