Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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