you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize