How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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