she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
