when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
