I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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