Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
