Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
