plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
