We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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