I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
