i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize