I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
