i think i scared a bird with my dick
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize