If i come over, it means nothing
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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