The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
