In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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