dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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