i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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