I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
