Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
