WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
