I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
