you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
