So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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