they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
