my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
