I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
