Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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