yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize