i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
