Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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