We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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