I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
