If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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