Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
