I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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