Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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