My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
