No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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