I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
