maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
