Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
