Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My penis needs a shock collar
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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