STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
