Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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