Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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