I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize