i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
