How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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