I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
