Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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