he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We left an ass print on the piano.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
