I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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